Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Broken bones, fuzzy memory

So like any normal weekend down here at the beach, I'm out drinking with Jewbacca and Mark when total chaos is unleashed by the big dumb animal Joe. After leaving the pub early (around 11) completely wasted Joe starts checking Mark and myself into parked cars.

Well, after a few bruised ribs, Joe appears to calm down when he grabs a traffic cone and starts waving it around like a madman. Mark and I decide to take off. So here we are, 2 drunken assholes running down Hermosa Ave. being chased by a large drunken buffoon. Well, Mark tries to outsmart this gorilla by knocking over a trash can. Meanwhile, I've turned back to look at Joe and the next thing I know I'm flying through the air. Yes, I ran smack into the trash can and came crashing to sidewalk.

I'm laughing at first until a huge amount of pain starts rushing to my arm as I'm lying on the sidewalk. It feels like something is broke but since I'm drunk it isnt too bad. After a few moments I get up and we continue walking back to Steff's house while I'm trying to inspect the damage that has just occurred.

We get no more than 50 yards before Joe decides to give Mark the ole ball tap. mark drops like rock in pain. I'm standing there laughing uncontrollably when Joe proceeds to ball tap my injured ass. I hit the ground again for the second time in the last 5 minutes.

Mark and I finally recover and make it to Steff's where I'm ready to crash because walking home doesn't appear to be the best idea considering the circumstances.

So I crash and I wake up at 5 AM in pain, a lot of pain. I wake up Steff and ask her to take me to the ER. We end up ging around 6:30 and end up waiting in the ER for over an hour. The doc examines me and sends me to x-ray. My left elbow is in excruciating pain by this time (I hadn't taken anything). After about 25 minutes of getting x-rayed all to hell, I'm back in my room. The doc comes in and says you've fractured you left elbow and chipped a bone in your right wrist. So in essence, I've got 2 broken arms. The end result is below:

Me broken
Sidebar: This post took entirely too long to type due to only having one hand working at this time.

UPDATE 9/8/06: You can now read Mark's more dramactic version of the story as well.


Tom said...

what an idiot.

Jeff said...

I'm gonna go ahead and only respond to this story by saying, "I agree with Tom."

Becky said...

Damn, I needed a good laugh. Thanks Drunken Gerald for the enjoyment...

Traci said...

wow jerry, you really are a retard. you've definitely ruined your chance at a political career.

MotherOf3Guys said...

I'm sorry Drunken Gerald had a little boo-boo. Hope all is well now...good thing you already have a job, I heard employers look up prospective applicants on line and read their entries...Drunken Gerald's antics may have caused a little problem for you!